| Author | Message | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 873 Registered: 11-2004 |
On one side sits the sparrow, all feather and hollow bone, eyes ever skyward. Across from her on the scale he rests, hard pressed coal. He dreams of diamonds. The sky shifts, and she is gone. The scale does not measure so slight an increment, takes no notice of her flight. On his side there is the weight of time, the sureness of things crystalline. Sometimes the rain weighs more than she did. When the sky begins to clear the sun catches a brown wing. | ||
| SplinterGroup
Advanced Member Username: splinter Post Number: 833 Registered: 11-2003 |
Ca c'est bon cher. I like this piece. | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Senior Member Username: garyb Post Number: 4130 Registered: 07-2001 |
Dale, a poem for the short list. One of your best. Thanks much. Gary Drop in read the new MindFire, 2005's first Go in through http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ to get to the issue in a click or two. | ||
| M
Board Administrator Username: mjm Post Number: 3175 Registered: 11-1998 |
Another great piece, Dale. I was enthralled from the first word and was eager to see what would happen with the balancing of this scale. You handled that with all the deftness a reader could ask for. No suggestions this time from me. | ||
| Denis M. Garrison
Advanced Member Username: denismgarrison Post Number: 267 Registered: 01-2005 |
Dale, Fine, indeed. Enjoyed immensely. A question: "Across her on the scale he rests," Across from her ?? Opposite her ?? bw, Denis www.dmgar.com My books are available at www.lulu.com/denismgarrison | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 880 Registered: 11-2004 |
Gary~ Thank you so much!! M~ I appreciate the very kind words! Denis~ Thank you so much! Yes, I left out the word "from"... ugh! I have emailed our wonderful M to fix this. Glad you caught it! take care all~dale | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Advanced Member Username: kathy Post Number: 2081 Registered: 12-2003 |
Dale, a well-balanced piece, okay pun intended! I enjoyed.  K | ||
| M. Kathryn Black
Advanced Member Username: kathryn Post Number: 2501 Registered: 09-2002 |
Dale, provocative and well-crafted. Best, Kathryn | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 883 Registered: 11-2004 |
Kathy and Kathryn~ Thanks to both of you for reading and for your kind comments. take care~dale | ||
| LJ Cohen
Moderator Username: ljc Post Number: 2402 Registered: 07-2002 |
Dale, This is finely wrought. This stanza my favorite: The sky shifts, and she is gone. The scale does not measure so slight an increment, takes no notice of her flight. You evoke so much within this piece. best, ljc | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 895 Registered: 11-2004 |
Lisa~ I appreciate your comments. Thanks so much for reading. take care~dale | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 896 Registered: 11-2004 |
Alan~ Merci mon ami! And so ends my command of the French language... or not quite... au revoir ~dale | ||
| Emusing
Advanced Member Username: emusing Post Number: 1200 Registered: 08-2003 |
This is beautiful Dale. Ephemeral and deep at once. I think a typo in S3 "more tha(n) she did? Really love it. E | ||
| Dale McLain
Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 905 Registered: 11-2004 |
Thanks E~ I appreciate the kind words... and the heads up on the typo!! take care~dale |
